


Unspoken

by rufferto



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Romance, Season 3, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:08:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy and Flint have always had an attraction to each other but for the time being the words were unspoken. One day Flint calls Billy to him and fantasy becomes reality until reality tries to swallow them whole. </p><p>Billy knows he's going to have to fight for Flint to keep his heart from breaking, and with Flint to save the crew from his madness. He desperately hopes John Silver can do what he doesn't want to do.</p><p>Also I realized I forgot to update this. Yes, there are some spoilers. It goes through the episodes as they happen. It started out as drabbles but worked itself into a plot. </p><p>Don't own black sails. no money made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Billy Bones stared at Captain Flint from across the deck. Not for the first time the Captain made his mouth run dry with want. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Flint and Flint, the bastard,  he knew it. He knew he had Billy wrapped around his finger without ever touching him. It was the looks. It was the heat in his eyes and his words. They were aimed to pierce Billy’s flesh and bore hard into his soul. 

“I know you’re mine,” said those looks. They taunted him mercilessly. They made his insides squish and squirm and his mind turn to turbulent, inappropriate thoughts in the dead of night.  They were words unsaid but they were in the air, moist and dripping. 

Billy didn’t partake of the female flesh, or any flesh. He knew who he belonged to. He knew who held the contract on his soul. That would be his devil of a captain. The man he would murder for. 

Billy felt Flint’s eyes upon him and turned just in time to notice something. It was subtle but it was there for slight moment. Perhaps it was a trick of his brain. Perhaps he was just wishing too much. 

There was another unspoken word and a look the Captain would only ever give him. 

“Soon.” 

Billy grinned. He could wait.  He’d waited this long, hadn’t he?


	2. Chapter 2

Billy's back was against the mast. It was a hot day so he'd taken off his shirt and was using the main sail as shade. Sweat trickled down his skin and his muscles were tight from working on the ship. He shaded his eyes from the sun and felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

Someone was watching him. 

He swallowed and checked around nervously. Most of the men were gathered in the cooler parts of the ship, praying for wind. Some were down with various heat related sicknesses. Billy was made of sterner stuff, however. He could weather a little heat.

Whoever was watching him wasn't making himself known but there was just something about it. That was when Billy caught movement out of the corner of his eye, a flash of red. 

He smirked and wondered how hard Flint was.  

He'd never go find out but he could imagine quite a bit. He wondered if Flint was stroking himself right now. He closed his eyes and licked his lips.  One day he'd kneel before the Captain and take that hard cock in his mouth. Billy couldn't imagine a more delicious treat. 

But he would patiently wait until Flint summoned him. 

That was the unspoken rule.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Flint wasn't the only one who liked to find a good vantage point and just watch. When the man talked and moved his lips Billy was mesmerized. It was like a drug and he wanted more. He could probably come just from hearing Flint's voice alone just so long as he kept talking. Which he did. He was speaking to the crew and Billy had hid most of himself from sight. The crew was riveted on Flint and weren't paying attention to him. 

He couldn't help but reach down and palm his cock, it ached and whined from lack of attention. He needed release. Fuck. He needed release now. While Flint kept talking, he stole away and unlaced his trousers. In the background he could hear the man's voice. Ugh. He panted desperately. It would be quick, all he needed was a few minutes to just. Jesus. He needed quick. 

He closed his eyes and wished he was buried balls deep in the man. He pulled and rubbed and couldn't help a small moan. He wondered what Flint would look like consumed by passion. All the looks were driving him mad. He was strung tight with desire and if Flint didn't call for him soon he didn't know what he was going to do. At this point he'd come just from a look. He wondered if Flint was doing it on purpose but he didn't think so. Flint didn't seem to be the kind of man who wouldn't just take what he wanted. It was probably just lack of opportunities for privacy. Maybe he wanted to take his time. Do it properly on a bed? That sounded mad, when would they ever have a private moment to share on a bed?

He swallowed. The idea of Flint laid out in a bed naked and proud was too much for him. He came to the sound of Flint rallying the crew.

He leaned against the ship for a moment to catch his breath and cursed the day he met the Captain. His entire world centered around the man now. Hell, he was done for. He heard Flint finishing up and quickly cleaned himself. He rearranged his trousers and tried to steady his breathing.

Billy made his way back into view and found Flint's eyes had been seeking him. They rested upon him and when he finished speaking he saw the man's lips curl in amusement.

Fuck, how could he _KNOW_?

Billy stared.

The fucking bastard had the audacity to look smug as if he knew exactly what Billy had been doing and why.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

It was driving him mad.

Flint hadn't looked at him for a few weeks. He was gruff and surly and just simply not himself. 

The crew remarked that the Captain seemed to be drinking heavily and someone ought to do something about it. Every so often when this was said eyes would flick to him. Not John Silver. Him. Billy gritted his teeth. Why was it his responsibility to brave the Captain's temper?

He cast a glance at the door leading to the Captain's Cabin for at least the tenth time in the last couple of hours. He was trying to keep busy and trying to ignore the anxiety. Had he done something? What had he done to make Flint ignore him? The one time he had caught Flint looking his way the man seemed unfathomably sad for a fleeting moment. Then angry.

Flint was always angry, Billy knew that, but this was different. This was a smoldering rage that had nothing to do with any of them.

Billy sighed after the fourth time a crew member looked at him expectantly.

"Fine!" He growled out. "I'll go talk to him."

He turned and stalked the door. Instead of knocking he barged in as usual, stopped dead and swallowed heavily.

Flint looked up and fixed a glare on him  from where he sat. He was holding a bottle of rum and reading. There was fire in his eyes.  He'd thrown off his jacket and he was clad only in the white shirt that left very little to the imagination. "Get out." he snapped.

Billy closed the door behind him and strode over to the desk. He sat down opposite and tried to think of something to say.  "Captain..." he began.

Flint cast the bottle aside and lunged right over his desk. He grabbed Billy by his shirt and tugged him over. With an unapologetic glower he brought their faces very close together. "Last chance."

Billy swallowed. "I'm not going anywhere." His gaze dropped to the Captain's lips.

"You never do." Flint sighed very suddenly and released him abruptly. "You're always there, Billy. Why?"

"You have to ask?" Billy made a small strangled sound in his throat.

"No." Flint admitted with another melancholy sigh.

"You know then." Billy ventured.

"Yes."

Flint retrieved the bottle and poured Billy a mug full.

Against his better judgement, Billy drank. He gave the man a plaintive look. "You're scaring the crew."

"And they sent you to tackle the lion, yeah?" Flint smirked as he let his gaze wander over Billy.  
  
"Yeah." Billy flushed.

"I'm fine." Flint grunted. "You can go, or stay here and drink with me."

Billy cast a gaze at the door and looked back at Flint. "You can." He searched for the right words. "You know, um..." he didn't know how to say what he wanted.

Flint eyed him. "I said drink with me."

Billy sighed and complied, as always.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

He was drunk and his words were starting to slur a little. It took a LOT for Billy to get drunk and he was a happy drunk. Flint was telling him a story about when he was a young man aboard his first ship and one of the officers talked like a woman. He was doing facial impressions that were cracking Billy up. 

He grinned as he realized he was actually having fun with James Flint. The other man was also drunk and the rum was making his lips glisten and his eyes shine brightly.  Billy giggled as Flint demonstrated that they finally figured out the officer actually ended up being a terrible shot and clipped the Captain in the arse during his first battle. 

"So he was charged with having to rub the Captain's ass with ointment for weeks afterwards." Flint had tears in is eyes from laughter. "You can imagine the jokes we came up with."

Billy liked watching Flint laugh, it was a rare thing and it was distracting. 

Flint stumbled back into his desk and Billy rose to catch him.

For a long moment they just stared and Billy's strong arm held up the Captain. He righted the man to his feet with a gruff laugh though the contact had seared his skin and made his flesh tingle with need.

 _Please god more._ Billy wanted to whine. _Don't close off now._

 Flint reached over and traced his fingers up Billy's forearm and the young man's mind nearly short-circuited. Flint was touching him. Flint was looking up at him with hunger in his eyes.  

 _Do whatever you want._ Billy wanted to plead. "I'm not afraid." He whispered, unsure why. 

"You should be." Flint gave him a strange look. "Everyone I touch dies. I don't want you to die, Billy." His voice became suddenly small and pained. "I need you to live."

"You already tried to kill me once, remember?" Billy said with a smirk. "I came back."

"i didn't..." Flint shook his head furiously, "I didn't want that. I never wanted that."

Billy reached up behind him to tug at his shirt and pull it off. If Flint wanted to explore he sure as hell wasn't going to refuse. "What do you want then?" He tossed his shirt aside. 

Flint's hand slid up Billy's arm to the back of his neck. Billy shivered as he knew just how strong those hands were. "To forget." 

Billy shifted suddenly, lifted Flint up onto his desk so that they'd be eye to eye and kissed him. "Touch me, then." Billy rasped against his lips.   

There was tongue and teeth and rough, insistent hands nearly desperate in their want as the Captain took the invitation for all it was worth.  "Let me down, Billy." Flint grunted. "I want to fuck you."  Billy stared at him so wide eyed that Flint squinted at him.  "You've never done it have you?"

Billy shook his head.

"Fuck." Flint grunted. "Not tonight then. Tonight you can learn how to use your mouth." 

Billy couldn't help but grin, not tonight meant there would be more.... much more. "Teach me."

Flint was certainly happy to oblige.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

 

Billy sank to his knees and a thrill rushed through him as he looked up at the Captain with an awed expression. He could hardly believe it was happening. Flint reached over and petted his hair. 

"Relax." Flint said as gently as he could. He could not deny that he'd imagined this moment several times himself. He reached down to start to unbuckle his belt.

Billy shook his head, "Let me." He blushed at Flint's incredulous look. 

With trembling fingers he flipped the buckle open and unbuttoned Flint's trousers. Flint took care of the weapons of course and put them on the desk. Billy swallowed and drew down his trousers. 

Flint grunted slightly, "Let me get my boots.."

No, Billy had that under control as well. He quickly removed both boots and slowly tugged off the trousers. That's when he finally looked. 

It was glorious and he blushed again. He'd never seen another man's cock up this close. It was full and proud standing to attention under his heated gaze. 

"Are you going to keep staring like a girl, or get on with it?" Flint muttered impatiently.

Billy smirked and shuffled closer. He reached out to touch it carefully and heard Flint groan. The captain shifted his weight and leaned against the desk with one hand. The other he reached to rest against Billy's neck. His legs he opened and let Billy settle between them.  He wasn't quite sure what to do but he'd seen it so he opened his mouth and let Flint slip between his lips. 

"Fuck..." the Captain rumbled. "Billy... Jesus. Hollow your cheeks, you have to.. yeah... that's it." Quick learner, Billy Bones was. He was also an enthusiastic one.

As for Billy he delighted in getting his Captain to make those utterly intoxicating noises. His own cock was rock hard and he wanted to jam it into something so badly he almost came at the idea of it. 

It was over far too quickly for Billy's liking and though Flint had tried to warn him, Billy hadn't pulled away in time and his mouth filled with the Captain's seed. He reeled from the effect of it and gasped for breath as he abruptly pulled off, lost his balance and fell back on his ass in surprise. 

Flint blinked for several moments, Billy's chagrined expression made something happen that he thought never would again. 

James Flint threw back his head and laughed heartily. 

Not at Billy, but the situation. 

Billy picked himself up indignantly, "It's not funny!" he rasped as he wiped his mouth, disgruntled that he had failed completely at being sexy.

"yes it is." Flint continued to snicker. "Come here."

To the young man's extreme surprise he pulled Billy to him and kissed his forehead, "Thank you."

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

BIlly had left the Captain's cabin feeling somewhat disgruntled. He wasn't sure what he expected but a quick kiss on the forehead was not it.  Now at least he knew exactly where he stood with Flint and he had finally found a way to calm down the Captain when he was in a rage. He felt quite foolish, actually.  Flint had more or less patted him on the head, thanked him and sent him away. There was something in his eyes though, this wasn't over. This thing between them was far from a one time thing.

He didn't have any illusions that Flint's feelings were on the same level of his own.

At a question from a member of the crew Billy nodded, "Yeah, he's calm now. Things will be normal for a while." What was normal? Nothing anymore, not since the Captain found out about the Urca gold.

He got ale from someone and extra dinner from the cook that night. No one quite knew exactly what he had done but as far as they were concerned he'd performed above and beyond and deserved treats.

He went about his usual routine the next day. Generally checking to make sure everything was in order but he had a hard time concentrating. His head was way too full of rambling thoughts. Mainly the idea of getting fucked by James Flint. He couldn't deny he'd been thinking about it for a very long time. Some nights it was all he could think about. The captain had given more reasonable orders for headings that day and seemed to glance in his direction a little more than usual.  He had even given him an encouraging nod of approval at one thing he'd done.

He'd tried very hard not to beam with pride after that.

And failed.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

"I am your King, Billy." James had once said to him.

"My King..." Billy rasped.

"What was that?" Flint murmured as he stroked Billy's cock.

"Uh.....you." Billy was dazed and more than a little out of it. He groped at Flint's shoulders as his release shuddered through him. "Fuck...you knew even then?" He wanted to hide his face in shame.

"I always knew, Billy." Flint gave a sort of half smile. "Better now?"

Billy couldn't remember what it had been they were arguing about when Flint had given him a look and stormed into his cabin. Billy had followed and Flint had pounced.

"You can't always count on winning an argument like this." Billy rumbled, boneless in Flint's arms.

"It's worked for me so far." Flint wiped them both off. "Now are you going to do what I asked?"

Billy's scowl was his answer. Billy always would do what Flint wanted.

Billy stumbled out of the cabin and scrubbed at his face. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Silver as the man gave him an appraising look. "What?!" Billy grouched.

"He's really got you around his finger, hasn't he?" Silver said conversationally.

Billy wanted to wring the man's neck. He didn't have the energy for a conversation with Silver. "So what if he does?" He snarled petulantly.

"Rather convenient, don't you think?" Silver lifted his eyebrows.

"What ... What do you mean by that?" Billy knew better than to get into a talk like this with John Silver. They never ended well but he couldn't help himself.

"You're one of the most intimidating men on the crew, Billy. And he's got you." Silver pointed out. "He's got you on your knees."

Billy gave the man a frustrated grunt and stalked off. The problem was, he was right. The more Billy thought about it, the more his heart sank.

Flint was using him.

 

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

Billy sighed and couldn't concentate on his work. He had gone over the ship once already and found a couple of areas that needed tightening. He remembered back before Gates died how he had been able to hide his feelings and look upon Flint from afar without worrying about the backlash. Gates had always steered his mind away from those thoughts. It was almost as if he was trying to stop Billy from entertaining ideas about James Flint.

He understood why now. Flint was broken. He was so damaged it would be a heraculean task to bring him back from the darkness that consumed him.

Billy wondered what he'd been like as a young man, eager and fresh with idealistic notions. Now he was obsessed with keeping Nassau free of England's yoke and honestly he had no idea why the feeling ran so deep in Flint. It was almost like he was doing it for some other purpose. Some higher meaning that Billy couldn't grasp because he didnt' know the man's past.

There must be some way of finding out.

He wanted desperately to know the story about how Flint was the way he was. He should have asked Mrs Barlow when he had the chance but he was too jealous of her at the time. He remembered once she had approached him after the incident with Abagail Ashe at the dinner table. She'd asked if she could speak with him but he'd rebuffed her. She'd given him a look of pity which irked him and he was even more annoyed when she told him in a kindly tone, "I've seen that look before, Mr Bones. If you find you want to talk, you know how to find me."

He'd missed that opportunity and kicked himself now because of it. She might have explained. She'd never treated him badly. She genuinely cared, he knew that now.

He heard someone coming up to him and glanced back gardedly. It was Howell. The ship's doctor. He'd been on the Walrus as long as Billy could remember.

"Billy, I think we should have a talk." The man shifted a bit, slightly uncomfortable but nonetheless determined.

"What about?" Billy responded evenly.

"I have eyes and I know he's never going to tell you. We need to talk about the Captain." Howell put a hand on Billy's shoulder. "I've been putting this off for a good long while. It's time you knew."

"Knew what?"

"You need to ask him about Thomas Hamilton." Howel said slowly. "I can't tell you the details, that's his story but you need to ask him. Then maybe, you'll understand why he is the way he is."

"Who is Thomas Hamilton?" Billy frowned. He'd never heard the name before.

"The man he loved, Billy. He's dead now these past ten years. He told me the story a long time ago one night when he was drunk. He needs to tell it to you. Ask him." Howell said gently. "You need to know."

Billy nodded mutely. Flint had a lover in the past? Someone he loved? It hurt but it made sense. "Thank you..." He said gruffly.

"And Billy? Be careful." Howell said fondly.

The doctor turned and went on his way leaving Billy with a new problem to deal with. Who was Thomas Hamilton?

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

Billy stopped just before the door to the Captain's Cabin. As soon as Howell had mentioned Thomas Hamilton he'd immediately wanted to know more. He backed away from the door instead and began to assess the emotions that tangled up inside him. Was Silver right? Was Flint using him because he knew the crew liked him? Would he ever hold a special place in the Captain’s heart? Would he ever get treated like an equal? He felt absurd as fear clenched his heart. Fear that he was lost in a hopeless fight to reach for something that was already dead. He knew that the man he was hopelessly in love with was drowning in grief and fighting madness. He knew that he was the only person keeping that madness at bay. And yet what footing did he really have?

He wasn’t a brilliant tactician. He wasn’t a charismatic leader. He wasn’t pretty or particularly gallant. He sometimes felt so awkward around other people. He was loyal and he did understand and he did read a lot when he was a boy. Sometimes he would grab a book from the captain’s cabin and read it when he had the time. He knew how to read and write. He knew his numbers and he knew where things were in the world and about history. If he had stayed in London he would know more. He had the potential to be on the same level as the Captain but he wasn’t brilliant and he hardly had the time to be scholarly. So where did that leave him?

He had a gorgeous body and Flint wanted him.

Billy sighed.

That didn’t make him an equal, it made him convenient. He balled his fist and tried to talk himself out of knocking on the Captain’s door. Since their first encounter he had wanted Flint’s touch as much as he could have it. They hadn’t done a whole lot but everything they did do left him craving more. He swallowed and hated his treacherous heart. It wouldn’t let him walk away. “Captain?” He knocked on the door.

James’ voice was sharp from within, “Come.”

Billy opened the door and walked in. “Er..” He couldn’t think of anything to say because James was shirtless and trying to take care of a bandage from a recent fight. He shut the door and padded over.

“What is it, Billy?” Flint didn’t even look around, he seemed to know who it was.

Billy looked at the floor and Flint turned around this time. He couldn’t bring himself to ask about Thomas Hamilton.

“Well, if you’re not here for any reason help me with this bandage.” Flint requested tersely.

Billy grunted and made his way over. He checked out the wound and noticed it wasn’t healing properly, “Have you been cleaning this?” He asked in a slightly annoyed tone.

Flint gave him a look and Billy rolled his eyes. That was his answer so Billy proceeded to get some fresh water and go to work. He pulled a stool over and sat down. Every so often as he worked Flint glanced over at him. “Something is on your mind.” The Captain grunted.

“No.” Billy lied, he wrapped the bandage securely and leaned back to admire his handiwork.

“You’re a horrible liar, Billy.” Flint was puzzled as he studied the man. “I suggest you don’t put anything you want to say to me off, things are going to get worse before they get better.”

Billy surged forward and kissed Flint. The captain offered no resistance nor was he completely involved at first. Billy straddled Flint’s lap and arched his body slightly as he kissed him. He sucked the man’s tongue and plundered as deep as he was allowed. His body came alive when Flint finally lifted his hands and slid his fingers down his back to rest them on his buttocks. Once participating, Flint made a halfhearted attempt to regain control only to relent and let Billy guide things for once.

Billy gasped for breath against Flint’s lips. He held the man’s face in his hands and stroked his thumbs over his cheeks. “There is _nothing_ I wouldn’t do for you.” Billy told Flint softly.

“I know.” Flint’s voice was husky and filled with something that usually wasn’t there. Emotion, fear…?

“Why does that scare you?” Billy demanded.

“Because I know what I’m capable of asking you to do.” Flint’s voice sounded far too hollow for Billy’s liking, so filled with pain.

“You’re not going to lose me.” Billy suddenly gripped Flint’s shoulders and stared hard at the man. “Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.” Flint’s voice was a ghost of a whisper as he wrapped his arms around Billy and buried his face against the man’s chest.

The words, though spoken, did not give Billy any kind of satisfaction. It was almost as if Flint was only telling him what he wanted to hear.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

Billy stared hard at his hands because if he looked anywhere else it would be written in his eyes for everyone to see. He was in too deep and there wasn’t any way he could claw himself out. Every touch that suggested a deeper connection. Every time they got further. Every time Bill thought the encounter would lead to something more it didn’t. Their moments together were short and there was never time for much to happen. Blow jobs, hand jobs and kisses. The kisses drove Billy to distraction. Flint was so good at it. He found himself caught in the occasional daydream about Flint’s tongue.

Sometimes he found himself so distracted it was hard to focus on his duties. Flint had him tied up in knots. He longed to ask about Thomas Hamilton. Unfortunately, the thought of being pushed away again stopped him from broaching the subject. He knew he was being a coward. He knew that if he pushed it Flint would just close off so he was stuck unless he worked up the balls to confront the man.

He didn’t have time to deal with it that day though, there was a call of “Sail!” and a confirmation of it being a merchant ship. They would take plunder and since most of the men were spoiling for a fight it was just the thing that the doctor ordered. Billy needed something to distract himself from Flint anyway. He stripped his shirt and applied the usual war paint while the other’s got ready for the fight without realizing that doing such a thing would reveal things he’d been up to. The Captain had left marks and he only just remembered when several heads turned to stare at him.

“What?” Billy growled.

Joji put up his hands in mock defense. “As long as he remains in a sane mood, I think none of us care, yes?” He looked around at the rest of the men who were eyeing Billy. There was a general consensus of yes.

Billy gave them all a surly look and bared his teeth. It wasn’t any of their business. There was a round of raucous laughter and much jostling of the Bosun but no one really meant anything harsh by it. They all liked Billy too much.

Once weapons had been arranged and they were up on deck the battle commenced. The ship fought back which meant they had a cargo to protect. He made a point of sticking close to Flint but only behind him to keep an eye on his back. He didn’t want to distract the man. Everything went well at first, the men of the Walrus knew how to work together. Billy and Joji noticed someone of importance sprinting down the hatch with his guns and they both nodded at each other.

They rushed after him before Flint could stop them and the Captain felt his heart clench. They should have waited! He secured the other Captain which forced the rest of the men to surrender on deck but there was still fighting down below. He wanted to shout Billy’s name. There were sounds of gunfire below and steal against steal. He felt a storm attack his heart and open a gaping wound in his soul.

Billy.

If he died down there, he would have died without knowing. He would never know. Flint glared hard at the Captain he had captured. “Make them stop down below, or so help me god, I will kill every one of your men.” He snarled.

The captain shouted something in French and his orders were carried down below deck. The fighting ceased as the terrified Frenchman had certainly heard of James Flint. They weren’t all out of the woods yet. If Billy didn’t walk up through that hatch. Flint stared wild-eyed at it, hand gripped around the Captain’s throat, just about to squeeze.

He and Joji did return. Joji was leading two women in tow, likely wife and daughter of the Captain or passengers. They were well dressed. Billy was bleeding from a non-fatal gunshot wound and several sword cuts, but he was alive. Joji was in similar states. The men below had put up a fight. Flint didn’t even see the terrified look in the young girl’s eyes. One snap of his hand he could kill her father. He sought out Billy’s eyes and was taken aback by the look he received. He immediately let go of the other Captain and turned his gaze to the man. “Search the hold. Take whatever we can sell, leave them with provisions to finish their voyage.” Flint said gruffly. It was uncharacteristic of him to be charitable, but there was a child aboard.

The Captain fell to his knees in thanks and his wife and daughter ran to him.

Joji looked up at Billy and nodded at the man with gruff respect. He knew, and the whole crew knew. Flint had done that for one person alone. Billy’s heart thudded in his chest. For a moment there he’d been afraid the Captain would have killed the Frenchman in front of his daughter. He’d seen him do a lot worse. Still, Flint didn’t look back his way.

The haul was a good one. They’d secured a number of weapons and guns for Nassau.

Unfortunately once everything had been transferred over and they broke free of the ship he still didn’t get to talk to Flint.

“Captain says you need to visit Dr Howell now.” Silver looked unhappy as he plodded up to Billy. “Also, tell him I’m not a go-between and he can give you orders his own damn self.” The man stalked away before Billy could say anything else.

Billy sighed in confusion and realized that the only option for him was to do exactly that. Flint had run off to his cabin.

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flint made me delete the chapter and write it again. This is /his/ Fault. :) He wanted Wet Billy.  
> Also, i almost forgot which fic i was writing.:) Billy doesn't yet know who Thomas is, just to clarify.

Flint watched the door of his cabin like a hawk. He’d washed the grime from his face and body and changed into a simple white shirt and trousers because Billy would stride through that door shortly. The heated way the younger man had looked at him during the battle on land made his blood boil. They’d conducted the retribution and made people pay for threatening pirates. Billy had faithfully followed him into battle, carried out orders and protected him if necessary. This was the first time but Flint knew there would be many more.

The night was cool and Flint shivered from the draft that wafted in through an open window. He wiped the back of his neck with the cloth and his head snapped up as the door was shoved open. Billy strode through and locked it behind him.

His hair was wet for he’d just washed his face but he hadn’t bothered with the rest of himself. He still wore the same shirt from the battle which made Flint chuckle. “Off.” Flint ordered.

Billy complied, eyes heated with need. He’d already thrown his weapons in his space in the crew quarters. He didn’t want to think, all he wanted was to release the adrenalin flowing through his form. To take Flint, throw him down on the floor and fuck him within an inch of his life.

“Everything.” Flint gestured to the pants and boots.

Billy nodded confused by the fact that Flint still had his clothes on. Once his were off and he stood proud, erect and nude before his Captain, Flint crooked his finger and kicked over a chair.

“Sit.” Flint gestured to it.

Billy was confused but did as bidden. He slouched slightly, legs spread wide and grinned when he saw Flint’s eyes take him in.

Without a word, Flint brought over the buckets of water he’d been using and rinsed out a cloth.

His brain was a jangled mess of questions. Billy had no idea which one to start with so all he did was grip the arms of the chair. He knew that any attempt to talk to Flint when he didn’t want to was the very definition of futility. It was best he just kept any commentary to himself and accept whatever the man was up to.

Flint gave him a pointed look, smirked and continued with his work. He proceeded to use a bit of soap on the cloth and started with Billy’s feet and began to work his way up leisurely.

It took a few moments for Billy’s brain to catch up to what was happening to him since this was a foreign concept. Men who lived their lives at Sea did not have the luxury of bathing regularly. He’d never had anyone offer to do it. He reached over to casually stroke himself but Flint flicked a glance up at him and scowled. Billy’s hand froze over his cock. He quickly gave up a halfhearted attempt to figure out the meaning of that gaze and dropped his hand.

Their encounters were never the same. Billy understood that now. He understood that he was there to satisfy a want not to talk about feelings. He leaned back and swallowed. Flint’s fingers had found his thighs and they trembled with need. “James…” he whimpered.

Flint looked up at him and smiled a fond little smile, “Soon.” He took water and soap and Billy had to stop himself from crying out when the man began to wash his cock. Flint’s smile turned into a little smirk at the way Billy’s lips parted and he practically writhed on the chair. “Mmm.” The Captain set the cloth aside and lowered his head.

“Jesus…fuck…” Billy swore. In all the times together this hadn’t happened before. Flint had never done it. He’d tried and failed to give the man a good blow once and the Captain hadn’t let him do it again. It wasn’t that Billy didn’t want to, he did… he just wasn’t that good at it yet. “ J-James…” Clearly Flint knew what he was doing. He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. He just needed to keep breathing. If he didn’t, he might pass out. It was so good. Flint gripped one of his forearms and kept his legs spread with the other hand. He took as much of the man in as he could with the experience of a man who had done these things before. Billy was almost jealous of those others. He was jealous of Thomas Hamilton who had known Flint when he was young and unscathed and whoever he was. He was jealous of Miranda Barrow. Hell, he was jealous of whoever Flint had lost his virginity to. He wanted to go back in time and gut them.

He’d never had anything this good. Billy’s eyes fluttered and he gave a strangled gasp. “James, I’m going to…” He tried to encourage the man to pull off him but he did not. He couldn’t help the shout as he came so hard his whole body shuddered. To his surprise Flint didn’t pull away. He let Billy’s seed fill his mouth and trickle from his lips.

Billy thought he must have died and if this was hell… he’d take it. Flint eased his grip slightly on Billy’s arm and slowly pulled off. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath. He couldn’t think, his heart was beating fast and he gave Flint a helpless stare. His eyes focused on a little bit of his own essence that trickled from James Flint’s lips and he was utterly mesmerized when the man snuck out his tongue and licked it away.

Fuck. He was absolutely screwed. If he hadn’t been before, he was now. He’d never seen anything so god-damned gorgeous and he was completely lost. _You’re fucking amazing_ , he wanted to tell Flint. You’re my god. You’re _everything_.

_I love you. You bloody bastard._

Flint got up but flicked his wrist at Billy. “Stay put. Not done with you.” He reached for his desk and grabbed the bottle of rum. With a fluid twist of his shoulders he took a long swig of it, gargled some and spat the reset out in the bucket of dirty water. “That’s how you do it, by the way. Suck a man’s cock, I mean.”

Billy’s laugh was more of a release of nerves. He didn’t know what to do or say. “Y-yeah..” he swallowed.

Flint turned back around to look at him. He picked up another cloth, this time a cleaner one and proceeded to go back to work on Billy’s chest, arms and stomach. All the while he didn’t come in close enough for a kiss. He just did as he set out to do. When he was done, Flint tossed the cloth away and leaned back to admire his handiwork.

Billy blushed under the look, “James.” He was getting hard again. He wasn’t sure he could stand it much longer if Flint didn’t kiss him, or let him touch. “Please.” The word tumbled from his lips before he could hold it back. Pride? He no longer had any when it came to the impossible man.

Flint gave a little nod, satisfied that the power in their relationship securely remained in his control.

Billy wasted no time, he surged upwards and seized Flint’s lips. He wanted to taste his tongue and his heart fluttered at the idea that he might taste himself. _Oh … god_. Billy almost came again at the thought and Flint was fully clothed. Well, if you can call a damp white shirt clothed. It the candle light it was sometimes see-through. They had to eventually pause for breath and Billy wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled his head against Flint’s neck. “Do you want me to…?”

“Mmm.” Flint’s reaction was non-committal. He didn’t exactly return the hug, he more or less just stood there and sort of hugged back.

“What does that mean?” Billy was tired of the way Flint burned hot and cold. He’d just been given something he was going to treasure for a long time and the man was just. He was just standing there. “Does that mean you’re done with me tonight?” He released the man abruptly. Hurt flashed in his eyes. “Do you want me to go?”

“No.” Flint shook his head. His shoulders relaxed slightly. “I’m sorry, Billy.” He gazed around the cabin in frustration.

“Then what is it?” Billy was utterly confused. Flint had gone from hot to cold and cold to his emotions plain to see.

“I want a bed.” Flint said at last. He leaned against the desk heavily and stared hard a Billy. “Is it too much to ask for? I want you, but I want something more for us, god-damn it. This is…” he exhaled. “Not enough.”

“Oh…” Billy’s anger evaporated as realization dawned.  
  
_Flint wanted to make love to him properly._ His heart soared, because maybe he did have a chance.

“Why can’t we be happy, Billy?” Flint asked him softly as he gestured to nothing in particular. “Why is this all we have?”

Billy had no idea. He did smile when Flint finally took off his shirt and dragged the thin mattress on the small bed onto the floor.

“It’s enough for me.” Billy told him softly as he sank down to the makeshift bed.

“Billy.” Flint sighed as he looked at the man. He joined the taller man and proceeded to show him, rather than tell him, the extent of his feelings.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! I'll reply to comments tomorrow. :)

Billy was in a daze ever since Flint had all but declared his love. They talked aimlessly that night. Billy opened up a little about his time as a slave, the very reason he would never accept a pardon. He’d had a rough time. “I used to watch you.” Billy admitted. “I was terrified of you. Sometimes I felt your eyes on me but I convinced myself it was my imagination. What would a man like you want with a boy like me? I was scrawny and my height made me clumsy. Do you remember?”

“How can I forget?” Flint laughed softly. “Gates used to make sure he was somewhere between us at all times. You were eager to prove yourself and ended up getting in the way.” The mention of Gates made them both lose a bit of the levity they’d both gained. He lay with his head on Billy’s chest, the more vulnerable position and almost thought he might have gained a little bit back of his old self.

“Why did you kill him?” Billy asked after a long uncomfortable silence. “He was probably your best friend and like a father to me.”

Flint grunted at the question, clearly not pleased that it was asked. As always, Billy managed to skewer his defenses with a question that threw him completely off guard. “I’ll regret that moment until the day I die.” He said honestly. “I’m sorry, Billy. He’d written me off and was about to betray me. He’d turned against me. I was hell-bent on finding the Urca. A prosperous Self Governing Nassau was Thomas’ dream. Going after it was the only way I could justify leaving him in England and not trying to rescue him.” Flint drew in a deep breath and appeared to be considering his next words very carefully. “At the time, I saw no other way.”

“And now?” Billy asked quietly. He’d stopped stroking Flint’s head gently as he’d been doing. The mention of Thomas made him cringe. He didn't know yet who the man was and he didn't know how to ask about it.

“There’s always another way.” Flint shrugged.

“What the hell does that mean?” Billy demanded, scowling. “Why couldn’t you see it back then?”

“Fuck. Billy.” Flint rose up on his elbows and reached out to grab his chin and force their faces closes together. “You were _GONE._ ”

“I… I don’t understand.” Billy’s breath began to quicken.

“When you went over and I couldn’t save you, all I had left was the Urca.”

“Oh…” Billy whispered. “I need to confess something.”

Flint kissed him first and tugged playfully at his lower lip. “What?”

“I forgive you.” Billy told him softly. “When I was being tortured the only thing I could think of was that I hadn’t told you. Too many years. James, I’ve wanted you since you handed me the knife I used to kill the man who made me a slave.”

Flint actually smiled. He chuckled in spite of himself…then laughed out loud. A long hearty sound that could likely be heard throughout the ship.

“Shut up, it’s not funny.” Billy groused.

“That’s a long time to pine, Billy.” Flint’s chuckled and Billy was smiling again in spite of himself. “Jesus, why didn’t you do anything?”

“Like I said, I was afraid of you.” Billy muttered.

“And now?”

“Hard to say. You’re unpredictable. I can never tell from one day to the next. Some days you’re likely to kill as kiss me.”

“Can you guess my mood right now?” Flint smirked as his hand had certainly found its mark.

“That’s no challenge, Captain.” It was Billy’s turn to smirk. “I think you want me to fuck you.”  
  
“Not exactly.” Flint’s eyes gleamed as he spread Billy’s long legs and ran his fingers up and down his thighs.

Billy’s eyes widened. “Me? But…” He floundered slightly as he tried to come to terms with what Flint wanted. He wasn’t exactly a virgin and the idea of it brought up a memories he had long buried. “I’ve not done this...since.....” He swallowed. “No. I can’t.” He moved backwards.

“Jesus Christ. I knew it.” Flint growled under his breath. He moved away to sit up and sighed. “Fuck, I hate England.”

“I’m sorry.” Billy mumbled and shuddered. “Just give me some time to get used to the idea.”

“You want to talk about it?” Flint actually marveled at how much they had talked tonight. He got up, and held his hand out to Billy to help him to his feet. Upon hearing how unperceptive Billy was to the idea, Flint’s libido had calmed for the time being. The only thing he wanted to do now is put the young man at ease.

“Not really.” Billy shrugged. “The Captain had taken a fancy to me. It’s part of why I was so thin. He didn’t want me to get strong.”

Flint poured them both some rum and they sat across from each at the man’s desk.

“I’ve put those days behind me, James.” Billy stared remorsefully at the rum in his hands for a long moment. “I was just a kid when they took me. I imagine you know what happens to boys on English Ships.”

Flint grunted, “I knew about it. I never allowed it.”

“I figured not.” Billy downed the rum. “You’re not mad?”

Flint shook his head, “Of course not.”

Billy set the mug down on the table and had to pause for a moment to stare at the Captain. “You realize tonight is the first time we’ve really talked?”

Flint nodded.

“I know you’re upset about everything that happened but I will tell you this, James.” Billy rose up and rested his hands on the desk. “I will keep reaching for you. So you better always find another fucking way because I don’t want to lose you. But you have to want to live, Captain. You have to want to live for more than just this Thomas’ dream.”

Flint listened to him but Billy could already feel the man’s mood changing and this is what drove him crazy. Flint could switch off too damn easily. He should never have mentioned Thomas. It was bad enough that he was brought up once that night, bringing him up twice was just stupid.

“James!” Billy slammed his fists down on the table. “Stop it.”

“I’m tired, Billy.” Flint said honestly. “We’ll talk more tomorrow night.”

Billy sighed and knew when it was futile to get through the barriers Flint could put up in the blink of an eye. He gathered his clothes and put them on. “You want us to have a bed and a home like regular people. You want to make love to me properly and now you’re sending me off for the night because I brought up something you don’t want to discuss. I’m sorry, Captain, but we’re not regular people, you and I. We’ve both long since left that life. This is what we have. This ship, these wooden walls. These moments on the sea.” He buckled on his belt with a frustrated grunt. “This is us, Captain. This is all we will ever have because civilization commands it.”

“Fuck Civilization.” Flint growled.

“No, Captain. Fuck you.” Billy turned and stormed to the door.

“Billy, wait…” Flint tried but Billy was already gone.

He ran a hand over his non-existent hair and took a few shuddering breaths. It hadn’t anything to do about the discussion and everything to do with the previous topic. Billy’s ordeal on the slave ship, yet another example of fucking England and their fucking values.

Flint poured more rum.

He woke later that morning to the sound of the lookout calling ‘Sail’ still asleep in his chair. His head pounded and he glanced over to the mattress still strewn on the floor with the blankets.

He didn’t bother cleaning up and moved to wash up and dress.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

Things began to happen too quickly for Billy’s peace of mind. His last encounter with Flint had been a fight and now he was up there, lashed to the wheel and trying to get them through a storm. Silver looked terrible and he just, he was hanging on by a thread. If Flint died tonight, he would die thinking Billy wouldn’t forgive him. He desperately wanted to go out there and drag Flint back inside but it was too dangerous for both of them.

Billy’s stomach churned with the possibility that he’d never feel Flint’s hands on him again. The surviving members of the crew were still around him so he couldn’t give in to the wretched feeling that gripped his heart. Flint had just sent members of the crew to their death and Billy was torn.

“How, Billy?” Silver rasped, clearly utterly shocked by the death of Muldoon.

“He’s not what you think he is.” Billy sighed. “He’s just …”

“Don’t give me that shit.” Silver grunted. “You had a fight, we all know that and now he’s off the deep end. I don’t care how it happened or what you were thinking. Somehow you’ve got to fix it.”

“That’s your job.” Billy lashed back. “Just because I fuck him doesn’t mean he’ll listen to me.” He was well aware some other crew members were nearby. Thankfully Joji silently got between them and discouraged other men from trying to overhear the conversation. “You need to find a way to make him listen. Just like Gates and just like Miranda. He will NOT listen to me. He pays attention to you though and you’d better figure something out soon because if you don’t reel him in things are going to get worse.”

“Good god, you’re in love with him.” Silver blinked slowly, realization had dawned. “That’s why you want me to handle it.”

Billy didn’t deny it, he grimaced and looked away.

“Jesus Christ, Billy.” Silver stared. He ran hand through his hair.

“Just reel him in, figure out a way.” Billy almost begged. He didn’t want to have to do it himself, it would destroy any chance they had. Flint would never trust him again. He’d never get close to him again. He tried to stop his hands from shaking by clenching them into fists.

“If you do it, he’ll reject you.” Silver understood what Billy wasn’t saying. God, he felt sorry for the man. He was fucked. He could understand the appeal, Flint was gorgeous. Silver himself had felt an attraction to him but he was far more attracted to his own sense of self preservation. Billy on the other hand, Billy had no sense of self-preservation. Flint was going to eat him alive and already had by the looks of it. “And if you do it, he’ll never forgive you. But he can me, I’m the quartermaster. Fuck.”

The storm raged around them and he could tell Billy was worried sick about Flint. He may or may not survive out there. Love was a strange and horrible thing, it wreaked havoc with one’s mental state and Silver was certain he didn’t want it. He sighed and grimaced in pain as the ship lurched about. Their altercation done the two men spent the rest of the time trying not to get thrown about the ship like rag dolls.

Billy was worried. So fucking worried he was out of his mind. The minute the storm let up he was going out there. He kept imagining scenarios in his head about what he would find and nothing he came up with eased his mind. Still the storm lashed the ship as though god himself was punishing the Walrus. He strained his ears to try and hear Flint but the man did not have a tendency to yell and scream so there were no sounds from the deck. The fact that they hadn’t gone under meant that Flint was still there, so that was something.

The storm lasted what seemed like forever until the winds calmed and the second it was safe to go out Billy was the first one to look for Flint. He was unconscious on the deck, battered and bruised, still lashed to the wheel. He didn’t care that the sea was calm. He was at Flint’s side in an instant. “James..” he whispered as he felt for a pulse.

_Please be alive, please be alive._

“Well?” Silver asked. The second to struggle out on deck along with DeGroot, Joji and the others.

“He’s alive.” Billy swallowed and untied the rope around him. He started to lift him up but Degroot stopped him.

“Let me check him over first.” The doctor insisted.

Billy watched as the doctor confirmed there were no broken bones. The men were already showing signs of alarm at the calm sea. He reached down and lifted Flint up. The man was heavy so it took both him and the Doctor to get him up.

“We take him to his cabin. He’ll probably sleep for a while. I suggest someone watch over him.” DeGroot glanced at the disgruntled expressions among the crew.

“I’ll do it,” Billy said gruffly.

They settled him down on the small bed and Billy exchanged a look with Silver. “You and Degroot should check the status of the stores and put a guard on whatever water we have left.”

The other two nodded and eventually left Billy alone. He sat heavily down in a chair and buried his face in his hands. They had too much to deal with and Flint had all but ordered him to his death up on the mast. He stared at the man as he slept and dearly wished there was some way he could stop the ache in his heart. Several of his brothers had met their deaths and now they were facing a worse fate. What could he do?

Eventually Flint woke and Billy was the first person he saw. For a long time Billy stood there, unsure what to say, his heart in his throat. Then Flint looked away and Billy’s heart dropped. No words were spoken but he heard the message loud and clear.

_Now was not the time._

Billy pulled what little was left of himself together to deal with the days ahead and drew a mask on. He would focus on the crew and protect them from Flint. There wasn’t anything else he could do. Not like this, not when their situation was dire. Words would just make things worse so he bit them down and carried on.

Occasionally he would catch a concerned look from Silver over the next few days but Billy stuck to his guns. He kept his conversation with Flint civil but that was it. Flint himself seemed to change after the storm and look haunted and yet determined.

_Now was not the time._

Billy was starting to wonder if there would ever be a good time for them. Would he ever get through to the man who held his heart? He was seriously starting to wonder if it was hopeless because every action Flint took seemed to thrust them further apart. It was almost as if he was doing it on purpose to see how far he could push Billy. Almost.

But Billy knew better, this was not about him. Flint was struggling with something else, something he’d never know the full truth about.

And that’s what really hurt.

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me very happy.:)

Billy felt Flint touch his shoulder. “Eat.” Flint told him softly. They were ten days in and he wasn’t one of the people on full rations. It was dusk and it was always cooler during that time of day. There was moisture in the air. “I’m not essential.” Billy shook his head stubbornly.

“You…” Flint sucked in his breath and sighed. “Come with me.”

He’d just watched Silver try and make eels and he was in no mood to deal with Flint but he was in a weakened state. He was tired and sticky, he’d never felt this miserable in his entire life. He sat down heavily as soon as they entered Flint’s suit. He hadn’t spoken alone with Flint since the night of the storm.

“I can’t watch you die, Billy.” Flint told him firmly. “Don’t ask me to.” He offered the taller man half of his portion.

Billy hesitated, he was so fucking hungry. He could easily just reach out and take it. No one would be the wiser. He thought of his brothers and how they were starving before his eyes. He looked at Flint with a hollow expression. “What about me?” He said hoarsely. “You think it’s fair that you can’t watch me die? It’s okay if I have to watch you? Do you have any fucking clue what I went through….Jesus, I thought I would find your body.” He was a fucking pirate, he was not going to cry. He was not going to let Flint make him cry. “And now you want me to betray my brothers again. You want me to take food that’s not meant for me. I won’t do it.” He balled his fists and wished he had the strength to fight. “I won’t.”

“Stop being a child, Billy.” Flint snapped. He gripped one of Billy’s hands, forced it open and shoved the food into it. “Eat.”

“Why should I?!” Billy’s voice shook with anger.

“Because if you don’t, I’ll shove that down your throat.” Flint countered. “You’re not dying.”

“No!” Billy wanted to throw it at him but the look in Flint’s eyes made him hold back. He opened his fist and sighed. His stomach rumbled fiercely. “I hate you.” He broke off a small bit and held the morsel up to his lips.

“No, you don’t.” Flint shook his head. He pulled a stash of rum out from its secret hiding place and poured a small amount out. “Drink.”

Once Billy had something in his stomach he felt a little better but he was still wary of the man across from him. “Why?” He asked Flint softly.

“Why what?” Flint stoppered the rum bottle and stashed it away again.

“Why are you slipping away?” Billy swallowed, his throat still dry even after the rum. “I’m alive, James. Whatever is going on inside your head, I’m alive and you already know how I feel. You’ve known how I’ve felt for years. What was … who was.…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“You want to know about Thomas.” Flint stared at him. “Who told you?”

“Degroot mentioned him, but that doesn’t matter. What is going on? I don’t know how to reach you.” Billy folded his arms across his chest. “There’s this huge chasm between us and I think it’s because of whatever happened to you. You know everything about me and I don’t know anything about you. Maybe if I knew, I could help you.”

“You can’t.” Flint said shortly. “They’re dead. Thomas is dead, Billy. He’s been dead for ten years. You don’t need to know.”

“I want to know!” Billy almost shouted. “Damn you! That should count for something.” He lurched forward and gripped Flint’s shirt. “Give me something. Make me understand.”

He searched Flint’s eyes desperately and gave a soft noise of surprise when the man kissed him. They both didn’t have a whole lot of energy for this but enough passion to make it last. Billy sought Flint’s tongue and pushed up against him. He needed the man’s heat, he needed it more than he needed food or water. He needed Flint so he could survive. He inhaled everything, every scent, every feeling. It was gross and dirty and yet fuck… he didn’t care.

When breath was a requirement he felt Flint gather him in his arms and he couldn’t help but arch his back slightly and lean into the man. He had to stoop, and it was awkward but he loved Flint’s arms. “They died, Billy.” Flint stroked the tall man’s head. “Two people I loved were killed by England. One I couldn’t rescue, the other I couldn’t prevent her death. Thomas Hamilton and his wife Miranda Hamilton. In truth, I loved Thomas more. He could have been a great man but they took it all away. They destroyed him out of spite for his way of life. I could have tried to save him but she wouldn’t let me. You’re alive, and I won’t let something like this kill you. He was probably starved in Bedlam… I can’t…”

“James…” Billy whispered against his neck, finally understanding a little more. “I’m not going to die.” He couldn’t believe he’d finally had something, some idea of what had happened to make Flint this way. It was something to hold on to, knowledge that there was a man behind the monster he was becoming. There was a man in there, and he was determined to keep him on this earth. Determined to fight for him.

 _I love you._ Billy wanted to scream the wretched words and shake Flint until he said them back but he couldn’t do it. Not now, not yet. He played with Flint’s beard, “I kind of miss your hair.” He whispered softly.

Flint gave a low rumbling chuckle. “It’ll grow back.” He liked having Billy back where he belonged. It was hard to talk about Thomas and Miranda and he still had issues to deal with but this was something. A tiny part of him wanted to talk more to Billy but not yet. Neither of them had any energy to do anything more than what they currently were and he didn’t want to go into details. He sat down because Billy was a quite heavy in spite of the weight loss and the man managed to figure out how to climb into his chair with him. He was tall but also quite flexible. “Fuck. You’re heavy.” He complained with a gruff grunt.

“Shut up and enjoy the moment,” Billy told him. “When I get my strength back you’re not going sit for a long time.” He fiddled with the laces of Flint’s shirt. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll feel it for a week.”

Flint almost smiled but they heard the telltale thudding of Silver’s leg. He squinted, “Did you lock the door?”

“Fuck him, he knows.” Billy reluctantly got up off of Flint’s lap and adopted an effective I was really doing something else pose in any case.

Silver knocked and opened the door. It was a habit he hadn’t yet broken since the early days of knowing Flint. Upon seeing Billy, he scowled and heaved a sigh. “I’ll come back later.”

“No need,” Flint shook his head. “Did you eat?”

Silver glanced over at Billy sharply. Billy shook his head, there had been no betrayal of Silver’s trust. “Not that it matters,” Silver grunted. “Just bringing you the latest updates. We lost Tanner today. We need to bury him before anyone gets any ideas.”

“You’re right,” nodded Flint. He glanced over at Billy who looked ashen. “Billy?”

“Tanner’s been here since the day I came aboard.” Billy mumbled, “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Tanner was an older pirate that they weren’t surprised to see die. Silver and Flint didn’t have quite the connection Billy did. Flint reached out and laid a hand on Billy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not,” Billy shook his head. When Billy was first rescued Tanner and Gates had both been instrumental in helping him acclimate to the idea that he was free again. It had been a hard road. A lot of the people aboard the ship had worked with him. The loss of them in recent months had taken a toll on his heart. He glanced over at Flint and offered him a tight smile. His words were soft when he spoke to the Captain. “I appreciate it anyway.” He reached back and laced their fingers together.

Silver glanced between the both of them and turned slightly. He didn’t acknowledge the touch or look disgusted by it. “Are you done here? We need you on deck,” he asked.

Billy pulled himself together valiantly. “Yeah,” he nodded.

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! I love them.:) They make my day. Please comment.:)

Billy sighed in relief as he saw the maroon put the coat back on Flint. Earlier he’d told Silver he didn’t care whether Flint lived or died. He was angry. He wasn’t enough for Flint to want to live. He still was angry and he still wasn’t going to forgive the man anytime soon. He was so fed up that he didn’t want to deal with it any more. He had been tired of watching the man he loved become an utterly wrecked shell. He hoped that Silver would take his words and they would sink into Flint’s head. He hoped his message got across. Apparently it had. Somehow, against all odds, Flint had heard and found a way out for them. Billy clung to that knowledge.

Was it him?

He looked down at the man from the outside of the cage. Had his words made Flint do something? Flint looked up at him and Billy sighed. That look. It was still there. Billy looked away abruptly and headed down the wooden stairs to get cleaned up. The maroons had given them some huts to sleep and clean up in. He didn’t try and get a private word with Flint, he was tired and miserable. It wasn’t over. Flint was still battling his demons and he still wasn’t enough.

Billy was thankful to see a bath. One of the women had heated it up for him and left him some soap, food and a fresh shirt. They would take his other cloths and wash them. The woman who had helped him seemed more than a little interested in staying behind and tending to his other needs. Billy thanked her gruffly, and sent her on his way but did not partake.

He peeled off the clothes he’d worn for weeks. God it felt good to remove them.  His body was sore and tired and every muscle screamed. He’d be sleeping on a feather mattress. He hadn’t had one like that since he was a boy. The tub was a generous sized one so he was able to climb into it and sigh in relief. His legs sort of hung out the sides but he was okay with that. Fresh water. Warm water. Soap. He scrubbed and dunked his head. When he came up for air and wiped his eyes he scowled at the door. Flint was standing there.

“Get the fuck out,” Billy snapped immediately.

The man had already done his own cleaning up. “I realize you’re angry,” Flint began. He shut the door.

“You can’t even begin to understand how angry I am.” Billy snarled. “You gave up.”

“Things are clearer now, Billy…”

“No, fuck that.” Billy shook his head. “You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me, do you? You killed them. In front of my eyes. You drew up lists. You…” He exhaled. “You gave up in the cage. You were ready to get yourself killed and I still don’t think you care about living or dying.”

“Billy,” Flint came closer to the tub and Billy kind of flinched back away from him. “I do _care_ about you.” He stressed as he sat down on the bed instead.

“And I _love_ you, you fucker,” growled Billy.  “How am I supposed to act? You may be the Captain and you can give me orders, but you absolutely _cannot_ dictate how I feel.”

Flint sighed, “You’re right, I was done.” He rested his hands on his knees. “I was done with it all in that cage. With Captain Flint, with everything.”  He flexed his hands.  “I heard what you said to John.”

“And?” Billy wasn’t about to waste warm water. He had begun to continue scrubbing.

“I give a shit, Billy.” Flint said slowly as he locked gazes with the man. “About you, I didn’t want that to be the last thing you thought of me.”

Billy frowned as he tried to process what Flint was saying. A tiny ray of hope began to fester in his heart. Did that mean what he thought it meant? “James, what are you saying?” He asked quietly.

“I wanted to live for you, to prove you wrong. To prove that you do give a shit.” Flint’s voice was soft as he lowered his gaze. His tone was almost ashamed.

Billy stood up, water slid down his strong form as he stepped out of the tub and Flint tried hard not to watch him. Eventually he lifted his head and took in the site. Billy was beautiful. He was so tall, muscled and proud he had bruises and sores but they would heal. His cerulean eyes sparkled with life and hope. “James,” he reached over, grabbed the man’s shirt and yanked him to his feet.

It was still daytime and anyone could come looking for Flint but Billy didn’t care. Billy seized Flint’s lips and crushed them against his. He tugged and pulled on belts and buttons urgently and eventually got all the layers off.  Flint gave a soft pliant whimper and it only fueled the fire deep in Billy’s stomach. “Do you want me?” he whispered as he sucked on Flint’s jeweled earlobe. “Do you want me?”

“God, yes,” Flint exhaled as Billy’s hand found its way to his cock and gripped it gently. “Billy…” He hung on to the younger man’s shoulders. His legs fell apart and he leaned back slightly.

Billy took a moment to take him in, all the rough edges and masculine strength. James Flint was built for sex. He was hard and lean with just enough meat in the right places and Billy was right between his legs. He let go of the man’s cock to just run his fingers everywhere.  He needed to feel that warm body, alive and pulsing under hands. He had resigned himself that night to see James Flint lying cold and dead in the morning, his emotional ordeal over. But here he was, alive and wanting to be touched.

Flint’s legs trembled slightly as Billy moved his hands down his thighs. His own hands weren’t idle. Billy’s body was getting just as much attention. They moved together onto the bed as Billy snagged one of the bath oils. It would have to do. For Flint, all he wanted was to have Billy fuck him into oblivion. Billy gave a shit, and he’d never forget that. Ever again.

The kissing escalated to a war of dominance. They tussled on the bed playfully until Billy pinned Flint down and grinned at him. “You know you can’t win against me,” he laughed softly.  His cock was hard and aching to be inside the man.

Flint gave him a resigned look, “Fine then. I can still order you to fuck me. I’m your Captain.”

“I was going to do that anyway, _Captain_.” Billy snickered.  He reached for the oil and slicked his fingers. He hovered one over Flint’s entrance with a wicked gleam in his eye. Their eyes locked as Billy’s finger slid inside and Flint opened up for him. “You don’t belong to the crew, James,” Billy whispered as he kept pushing inside. He saw the discomfort in the man’s eyes. He wiggled his fingers slightly and Flint glared at him.

“Billy….” Flint croaked out when the man’s finger located his prostrate and he began to tease it.

“You belong to me.” Billy kissed him hard. He added a second finger to keep working at it. He knew he had to be a little careful this time. It had been a while. He carefully maneuvered within him, going deep and stretching.

“Billy…Billy…” Flint whispered frantically.

For Billy it was intoxicating to see Flint come undone before him. He lost all composure to Billy’s fingers. Billy had done this to him and it made him feel powerful for once. In control. Flint shuddered and cried out when he finally withdrew and coated himself with oil.

Flint felt a strong sense of loss when Billy removed his fingers. That sense wouldn’t last long, however because Billy’s cock swiftly replaced them. It was glorious, being full again. He clung to Billy’s shoulders and let the man slowly fuck him.

No one interrupted them, no one came near their hut.

Billy drove and out as hard as he could. He wanted to leave an imprint on Flint, to make him remember.  He wanted to drive all those demons away with his cock. One arm braced against the bed and the other had reached between them and bring them both to completion. He held out as long as he could until finally his seed spilled and he began to tremble himself.

Flint came to his senses first and soothed Billy gently. Billy buried his face against Flint’s neck and … to the older man’s horror he realized the other was crying. “Billy? Billy, it’s alright.” He rubbed the man’s head gently.

Billy pulled himself out of Flint and gathered the man in his arms. “I love you.” He shuddered, and a wrenching sob accompanied the words.

“Billy?” Flint tried to coax him to lift his head but Billy kept his face buried.

Flint continued to sooth and caress the younger man. He carefully urged them into a comfortable position. Billy was clearly emotionally exhausted. He could hardly keep his eyes open. He rubbed his knuckles gently against Billy’s jaw. If he could only calm the rage inside him he had Billy and John Silver. They were two men who could keep him grounded. They could keep the demons at bay. Billy began to snore softly and Flint smiled when he saw the man’s beautiful face lighten. Flint smoothed back his forehead and cheeks and traced his lips. When he was certain the man was fast asleep he pressed a kiss on Billy’s forehead.

“I love you too, Billy.”  Flint confessed to the sleeping man.

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

Billy should have realized it. Flint wasn’t entirely back yet. He had fucked the man more than once on the island until they had to leave. Flint let him have him any way he wanted, it had almost been perfect until the day they were to leave. Flint had stood on the threshold of the small hut and looked behind him at Billy.  He’d taken a long look around the hut, then back at Billy.

“These next few weeks are going to be difficult,” Flint began slowly as he watched Billy get dressed. “A lot is at stake here.”

“You don’t have to tell me what’s at stake, I know what we’re up against.” Billy muttered.

“There are people on the crew who know about us now.” Flint turned around fully, framed by the door. “They think you’re compromised.”

“I’ve always done right by the crew!” Billy scowled as he reached for his shirt.

“You’ll have to keep doing it.” Flint met his gaze with a hard one. “I need to be able to count on you for that, Billy.”

“You…want me to fight you?” Billy frowned.

“I want you to be willing to stop me.” Flint shrugged. “Silver isn’t ready yet. I need to know that this… thing we have…this won’t prevent you from doing that. If that is the case, it ends now.”

Billy sucked in his breath, anger boiling up. “James…”

“It’s the only way we get through this, Billy.” Flint gave a resigned shrug of his shoulders. “If the crew thinks that you’re just going to say yes to everything they’ll think no one can stop me. They’ll mutiny. Half of them want to already.”

“You want me to pretend I still hate you?” Billy rubbed the back of his neck. “James, people have heard me crying out your name. They’ve heard us, surely.  That’s not going to work.”

“Billy…” Flint sighed.

Billy reached for his belt and put it on. Lately Flint had been helping him put on his clothing but not this time. Flint was deliberately distancing himself. He searched the Captain’s eyes and found that he had no option. Flint had already made up his mind. Billy sighed and looked down at the ground in frustration. “You don’t make it hard to want to hate you when you act like this, you know. I thought…”

“It’s not forever, Billy.” Flint tried to assure him.

Billy’s eyes were fierce as he lifted his head. “Fine, have it your way,” he gestured at Flint with a growl as he buckled on his boots and collected his weapons. Once that was done he stalked towards the door and loomed over Flint. “I love you, you shit!” He growled as he grasped the back of Flint’s neck and pulled him roughly forward. Billy didn’t care who saw them in the doorway as he was set to prove just how much control he had over the man. Eventually he released Flint and smirked as the Captain attempted to catch his breath.  “Rest assured that if you spiral into insanity again, I WILL stop you. One way or the other.”  Billy whispered, let go and walked away.

He hadn’t wanted to hear the response. Since that moment Flint had avoided him and it was starting to make him nauseous about the whole thing. Ben’s questioning, the fight with Blackbeard. He could have died. Billy swallowed and stared at his hands.

“You okay?” Ben asked him.

“No,” Billy admitted with a sigh.  He hated the idea of Flint in the Captain’s cabin alone with Vane.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked candidly.

“Everything.” Billy grunted.

“You should just go take what you want, you know.” Ben suggested. “He’s been watching you all day, when he thinks no one is looking.”

Billy frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t think you were particularly honest with me on the beach.” Ben smirked, “I have eyes, you know.”

Billy sighed, “It’s complicated.”

“It’s not,” Ben shook his head. “Men like Flint, you can’t leave it up to them.”  He put a hand on Billy’s shoulder. “Go to him.”

“He’ll just tell me the same thing.” Billy’s shoulders slumped.

In spite of his own misgivings, Billy let his feet take him to the Captain. He was just in time to see Vane stalk out with a pissed off look. Though as far as Billy knew, Vane’s default setting was pissed off.  He also had a couple of bruises.

Vane pushed passed Billy and grumbled, “He’s in a mood.”

Billy sighed and knocked briefly on the door. He walked in to find an overturned table and scattered papers about the floor.

Flint glared at the door, “Get the fuck out!”

Billy frowned, “Captain?”

“Did you not hear me?” Flint growled.

“I heard you.” Billy closed the door. He looked at the overturned table and back at Flint again. A lot of different scenarios ran through his mind.  “I’m going ashore with Silver in a little while. I wanted to talk to you.”  He paused and sighed. He didn’t want to say why he wanted to talk. He feared things would start to move too quickly and he’d have very little time to say what he had to say.

“We’ve said everything we needed to say.” Flint said stubbornly. He’d clearly been drinking and Billy sighed at the smell of alcohol.

“James,” Billy emphasized the Captain’s name. He took one look at Flint’s face and grunted, “The hell did Vane say to you?” He strode over to the Captain.

“Nothing.” Flint growled.

“Bullshit!” Billy snorted. He eyed Flint’s bruised and cut knuckles. He went to get a fresh cloth and dabbed it with some alcohol. “Need to clean that.”

Flint watched him and didn’t budge from his chair. He let Billy take his hand and clean the cut. “Vane speaks his mind. We disagreed and settled it with fists.”

Billy gently cleaned the wound and Flint didn’t even flinch. He held the Captain’s hand in his and gazed at it. He knew the things that hand was capable of; strangulation, death, destruction, murder and yet to him it was one of the most beautiful things in his world. He stroked a forefinger gently, almost subconsciously, moved on to the middle finger and massaged each bone. He didn’t look at Flint, he just focused upon the hand. It was scarred, and he had a couple of rings no doubt to add damage to punches. They were thick fingers, not slender or elegant but made for action. He could hear Flint begin to breathe a little quicker. He liked it when the man lost control over him, it was a beautiful sight.

“Billy…” Flint shakily whispered his name.

Billy looked up and met his eyes. They were wild with emotion Flint was clearly trying to reign it in. Billy didn’t want him to though. He wanted him to let go.  They kissed, this time soft and sweet, much to Billy’s surprise. And Flint, he opened up his mouth and let Billy conquer his mouth.

“You’re the only right person, you know.” Flint whispered against his jaw. “The only light.” He dragged his knuckles against Billy’s cheek. “You matter. But like I told you, we can’t do this. It’s too dangerous. For you and for me.”

“Fuck danger,” Billy growled. “I’ve risked myself for you over a lot less.”  His body was on fire from the gentle caress to his cheek and the way Flint pressed up against him. He seized the man’s shoulders and pawed at his shirt as they kissed again. He pulled it out from his belt and sank to his knees before Flint could stop him.  “You need this, you need me.”

Flint closed his eyes and thread his fingers through Billy’s short hair. “I need you,” he acquiesced finally.

Billy gave a wild grin of triumph as he tugged eagerly at the Captain’s pants and let them fall to the ground.

Flint smirked down at him, “What a sight you are.”

“I could say the same thing,” Billy murmured just before he allowed the man to slip inside his mouth. It was different, doing things like this. He could feel the jolt of the ship as it swayed to and fro. Flint held them steady as he sucked and licked and delighted in the sounds that began to manifest around him.

Flint was being quiet for the sake of the crew but Billy could tell he was having a hard time keeping the noise down. The adorable breathy sighs and whimpers were driving him mad with desire. His own cock was already hard and leaking with anticipation. It had been a couple of days and if this was what a couple of days was going to do to him he couldn’t imagine a longer length of time. He needed Flint like he needed air to breathe.

He liked the feeling of Flint’s cock down his throat. Before they had sex the first time he’d dreamed about this for years. God, now it was like a drug. Everything Flint was drew him in spite of how unhealthy their relationship was. Dependency wasn’t a good thing and he knew that but he just didn’t care. He finally had Flint and he wasn’t giving him up.

“Jesus… Billy…” Flint rasped hoarsely, he was close and that was a clearly a warning but Billy didn’t give a damn. He cast his eyes up to Flint as though to make his point and was stunned by what he saw.

Flint was braced back against his desk, Billy’s mouth between his legs. One hand stroked the younger man’s head and neck while the other rested on his desk. He moved his hips in time with Billy and gazed down at him with an unmistakably fond expression. That smile on his lips lightened his entire face and he looked years younger. His eyes were bright as he tried to keep from being too loud when he came. Billy slipped off while Flint’s whole body trembled, swallowed some rum to clear out his mouth and rose to his feet. Flint held onto him the entire time, almost with a death grip. Billy soothed his shoulders and whispered soft words into his neck with one hand while the other set to work getting his own belt off. He was so hard he was going to break if he didn’t get what he needed and soon.

Thankfully Flint didn’t put up any resistance and allowed himself to be prepared. Billy reveled once again at having the control he did over this one thing between them. In this, he called the shots, not Flint.  In this, he was the Captain.

“Who do you belong to?” Billy whispered against Flint’s ear as he sheathed his cock inside the man.

Flint groaned, gripped Billy’s shoulders and summoned up the strength to glare at him. “You know. Now –move-, damnit.”

Billy wished he had the courage to ask what he really wanted to. Did Flint love him? He buried his head against the man’s neck and drove into him. It was one thing to want, it was one thing to be someone’s lover, it was quite another to love.

Something in him really wanted to make this encounter count. He was worried about the coming days. He was worried about Flint regressing. He didn’t know how to fix everything.

“Stay alive.”  Billy whispered again as he felt himself build steadily towards release.  “Whatever happens…”

He shuddered as he couldn’t think anymore but he thought he heard Flint say "you too."  The sensation washed over him like a tidal wave and Flint kissed him hard to silence the cry.  He grasped the man and refused to let him go. Precious little time they had alone together he would take any minutes he could get.  He buried his face into Flint’s shirt and rubbed his forehead against the man’s neck.

Flint held him there while he rode through the feelings. “Billy? Are you alright?” He asked gently. He slipped a hand over and touched the Bosun’s cheek. When it came away wet and cool he frowned. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Billy lied and refused to look up. He slipped out of Flint but kept firm hold of him.

“No to which?” Flint asked quietly.

“I’m not alright.” Billy admitted softly. “I haven’t been alright since I watched you kill them. I’m lost.”

“Billy….” Flint stroked his neck gently.

“He… hear me out.” Billy swallowed. “I can’t function. I can’t think of anything but making sure you’re not trying to get yourself killed. And I’m not even sure that you want to live. I thought you did, but now… now I don’t know. You’re right, we shouldn’t do this. Not now.”  He sniffled. “I can’t be what you need me to be if we’re doing this. I love you so much I’d kill for you. I /have/ killed for you. I would rip men’s hearts out if that’s what you wanted. That … It scares me what I would do if you asked. I know you’re going to say this is what you meant. I know it.”  Billy lifted his eyes to meet Flint’s. They were wide and earnest and filled with a desperate need to be understood. “I want a world in which you can stop being Captain Flint. I will fight to the death for that, for you.  I’ll do whatever it takes. Unfortunately, I really cannot do that and this at the same time. Not until this is over. But James, I need to know something before I walk out that door and become your Boson again.”

Flint stroked his cheek. “Ask.” His words were soft and yet calm. It was almost as though he had been expecting them.

“Do you love me?” Billy wished he hadn’t asked almost immediately after he spoke. He was almost afraid of the answer.

Flint frowned at the question, “I think the right question is can I love you.”  He wrapped his arms around the younger man and squeezed gently. His voice was heavy with remorse when he spoke next.   “Ask me again when this is over and if we both live through it. My answer will probably be yes.”

It was something.

Billy stayed as long as he dared because this would be the last time he’d allow himself to touch Flint. They had a war to fight. Flint didn’t need a lover for this war, he needed a man he could trust. He needed a Boson.

He needed Billy Bones.

Billy would do whatever it took to make the world a place where Captain Flint could retire.

*FIN*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When season 4 starts up perhaps I will continue this as I have no idea what is going to happen.:) But for now it is done.


End file.
